The process of moving to assisted living is generally a very big, emotional decision for both aging parents and their adult kids alike. While for adult children the safety, support and social activities have become a necessity, for parents however this transition is often equated to surrendering and losing independence. Gently persuading parents to entertain this lifestyle requires a lot of empathy, careful planning, and effective communication that is done by focusing on the positives rather than the negatives. The aim is not to force a solution but rather to steer them toward and a quality life recognized by themselves.

Understanding Resistance and Initiating Dialogue
Resistance to moving is almost never about the facility; it is mainly due to fears: fears of leaving the places they are used to, fears that they will become dependent and fears of the unknown. Acknowledging and validating these fears is the first very important step in persuasion. Do not from the beginning present assisted living as the sole alternative. Rather, talk about the current issues they have at home in the context of the discussion.

Identifying Current Needs
A good conversation starts with the issues that can be easily seen in the current living condition. An example would be, instead of saying "You have to move because you are forgetting your medication", say "I saw you having a hard time with your prescriptions this month and I’m really worried about your health while I’m not around. How do you feel about having non-intrusive help available 24/7?". That’s the problem of the current setting. A similar thing is when people who are getting older complain about a risk that the place they stay in is not safe anymore due to falls, unattended repairs, etc. Such complaints are hard evidence for the strained living condition. Studies also indicate that when seniors think about risks objectively, they become more open to receiving help from outsiders.

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